Tales Of Queen Ayrenn's Dominion
by ForTheQueen101
Summary: Every person who serves the Queen has a story to tell. For the Queen!
1. The Feast

"Father, I'm afraid of what the Thalmor are going to think of us." Beleval stated.

Orben was picking out a nice dress for Beleval to wear for their trip to the Dominion Embassy, "Don't worry, Beleval. They're going to love you."

"I hope so."

"Just remember, do everything that book told you to do at the dinner table."

Protocol and Propriety in Summerset. That stupid book was three hundred pages long and Beleval had to read every page and then practice at the table as if Father was the Queen herself. Besides, why should she even behave the way the High Elves want her to? They were in Valenwood, not Summerset. At least it is for a good cause.

"Oh this dress will be perfect for you! It came all the way from Alinor." Orben showed Beleval the dress.

"It's very… nice." Beleval said while taking off her sleeping clothes and putting on the dress.

At the Embassy, Beleval remembered everything the book told her, "Refill the glass of the diner to your left when it is low. Never refill your own glass. Never rest utensils on the edge of any vessel. Do not eat more than the most prestigious attendee at any function. Always allow the head of your table to lead the discussion. Never watch another while they chew. Using the wrong utensil is considered barbaric. If you do not know which to use, watch other guests and follow their example." Seeing as a Khajiit servant was filling their glasses with the finest wine, refilling the glass of the diner to her left was not a problem for now. Her utensils were not resting on the edge of any vessel so that wasn't a problem. The servants served a platter of cooked meat, a platter cooked vegetables (if that's even a thing), and small bowls of tomato soup for everyone at the table. Seeing that tomato soup seemed like the food that she was forced to eat, she just had the soup alone with nothing else. She wasn't eating more than the most prestigious attendee so that wasn't a problem. Queen Ayrenn, her brother, Father, a Khajiit ambassador named Dro'Za, and a couple of Thalmor representatives, were leading the converstation so that wasn't a problem. She was staring down at her bowl of soup and not at anyone else. And she was using the correct utensil. Beleval was possibly the most proper person at the dinner table. People were staring at each other. Father was refilling his own glass. Dro'Za was using the wrong utensil. The Queen and her brother were speaking in a very angry tone. They were possibly talking about their defeat in Leyawiin.

"Little one," a Khajiit was talking to Beleval. Beleval looked up from bowl and saw that it was Dro'Za.

"Sir, what do you need?" Beleval asked in a polite voice, afraid that if she spoke in a mean voice the cat would jump up on the table and rip her face off.

"What fork does Dro'Za need to use to eat the cooked beef?" Dro'Za asked.

"Do you not eat with forks in Elsweyr?" Beleval asked in a quite mean tone. The Thalmor official to Beleval's left looked at her in disappointment. Both Dro'Za's cup and the official's cup were empty. "Refill the glass of the diner to your left when it is low." Beleval picked up the wine bottle in the middle of the table and poured the wine into the official's cup. Beleval left Dro'Za's cup empty. "May Dro'Za have some wine?" the cat-man asked. Beleval ignored Dro'Za, remembering that you can only refill the glass of the diner to your left. "Dro'Za, if you plan on eating the cooked beef, I suggest using the largest fork and knife," Beleval said.

"Dro'Za thanks you, Little One."

"Why are you even trying?" The official from before asked Beleval.

"What?"

"Why are you trying to act like us? Bosmer culture and Altmer culture is very different. It's okay if you refill your own glass. It's okay if you only eat meat."

Beleval just remembered something, she can only eat meat. She was so concentrated on Altmer culture that she forgot her own.

"Sir." Beleval said.

"The tomatoes are from Summerset, not Valenwood. The eating of these tomatoes does not disrupt the Green Pact."

"Thank Y'ffre!"

"Do you mean, 'Thank the Thalmor for being considerate of the Green Pact?'" the official laughed.

**Author's Note: Thank you for reading this fanfiction. More to come!**

**"Refill the glass of the diner to your left when it is low. Never refill your own glass. Never rest utensils on the edge of any vessel. Do not eat more than the most prestigious attendee at any function. Always allow the head of your table to lead the discussion. Never watch another while they chew. Using the wrong utensil is considered barbaric. If you do not know which to use, watch other guests and follow their example." This was taken from an in-game ESO book. I got this quote from the interactive map for ESO. Link to the map is here... /en/map/tamriel/auridon#top **


	2. Drunken Fools

Orben, Dro'Za, and Ryain were sitting at the table, drinking wine. The others have already retreated to their rooms leaving the three alone.

"Orben, I met you're daughter. She's a nice young lady." Ryain said.

"Thank you, Ryain. She was preparing for our feast here. She read that book on proper etiquette just to prepare for this feast with the Queen and , what's it called?"

"Ah, you must be talking about Protocol and Propriety in Summerset. I remember reading that book as a child." An awkward silence that lasted for ten minutes followed Ryain's words. The silence was ended with Ryain getting up and saying, "I better go to my room, better not keep my wife waiting."

"What! Come on! Stay for a while! Let's pop another bottle 'o wine!" Orben yelled out.

"Dro'Za agrees with the Bosmer."

"Alright. I guess we can have one more bottle."

Three hours later, Orben, Dro'Za, and Ryain end up in an inn full of corpses

"Do... do... you... you... you know what hate about... your people?" The drunken Ryain asked Orben.

"The Breton people?" the drunken Orben asked.

"Nooooo... the Bosmer people... yo...you...drunk!"

"Oooh, I thought I was Breton!" Orben starts laughing.

"You...so...stupid!" Dro'Za yells in a very angry tone and then falls asleep.

"Do...you...know...what...I hate about...Bosmer?" Ryain asked again.

"What's a Bosmer? Is that... some kind of egg?"

"I hate eggs." Ryain says softly.

"Is that what you hate about Bosmer."

"Bos...mer... are...n't... eggs!" Ryain yells.

"What are they?"

"You're a Bosmer!"

"I'm an egg." Orben starts yelling "I'm an egg" repeatedly.

"Shut you hole?"

"My mouth or ass?"

"BOTH!"

Orben starts laughing.

"I hate bug-biters! Bosmer are bug-biters! I hate Bosmer!"

"You're a Bosmer!"

"No! I'm an Altmer! You're the Bosmer!"

"I pumped your wife!"

"What?"

"I had sex with your wife!"

"You had sex with Curwe!" Ryain cries out.

"She said she wanted some excitement in her life!"

"I don't care!"

Ryain then cries himself to sleep, leaving Orben alone.

After an hour of just sitting there, doing nothing but yelling "I'm an egg!" and laughing, Orben gets his knife out and starts cutting off all the fur on Dro'Za's body. When Orben finished, he cut off all of Ryain's hair. Then, he cut off the hair on his own head and left the inn, leaving his sleeping partners in crime behind.


End file.
